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Dirty Tricks
There are moments in every marathon, usually near the end,
when the magic seems to have gone out of your words, and
worse, your legs. This opens up a big microphone into which
the left brain shouts its messages. You've probably heard
most of them:
It's over. Just walk to the finish.
Slow down; it'll feel much better.
Stop now and feel great.
Oh, do I feel bad.
I can't do it today.
(And the worst one of all) Why am I doing this?
It's time to play some dirty tricks on your left brain.
After all, it does the same to you all the time. Almost
anyone gets these messages. You're only in trouble if you
listen to them. Dirty tricks distract the left brain so
that you can get further down the road. But they can do
so much more. As you find a series of creative images that
get you into your right brain, you'll trigger other imaginative
thoughts. These may entertain you, but they are most effective
when they jump-start right-brain activity, which produces
intuitive solutions to problems.
Dirty tricks are merely crazy ideas that can't be grasped
by the left brain because they are not logical. Here are
a few ideas that have worked for me:
The giant invisible rubber band
On all marathons, I carry with me this device, which is
mounted to my shorts in the small of my back. When someone
passes me in the late stages, my left brain explodes with
a stream of discouragement: "Look how smoothly he or
she is running and how ragged you are." It's easy to
listen and give in to those logical messages, which are
only trying to reduce my effort and slow me down.
Instead, I attack by throwing the giant rubber band over
the head of whoever had the audacity to pass me. For a while,
the lead may grow. During the next few hundred meters, I
fill in a great number of details, such as imagining how
the tension on the rubber band is increasing and cutting
off the oxygen supply to the brain of the person I have
"rubber-banded." Surely he or she will have to
slow down.
At some point I must laugh at myself for such a ridiculous
conception. But laughing helps to send me into the right
side of my brain, and I relax. Limber legs turn over quicker,
and I usually catch up with, or pass, the person who passed
me. The giant invisible rubber band has worked again!
The giant hand
The ancient Greeks often imagined that Zeus or another god
was helping them. When it becomes tough to go up a hill
during those last six miles, call for the giant hand to
come in and gently push you up. Most folks find that the
hand comes in gently as you straighten up your posture.
The support increases as you shorten stride, keep feet low
to the ground, and let the feet gently lift off when they
are directly underneath you.
Oxygen molecules
The night before a marathon, I pretend to collect several
million oxygen molecules in a sandwich bag, which I pin
onto my shorts. During the latter stages of the marathon,
when the oxygen doesn't seem to be as abundant, I take off
the bag and squeeze it out in front of my mouth or nose.
Before squeezing, I exhale every third or fourth breath
completely. Just one or two squeezes will last about 100
to 200 meters. The best part of this trick is seeing and
hearing the reactions from the people around me in the marathon.
If you're a real salesperson, you may try to make some money
from those folks who went out too fast and are now severely
oxygen-deprived. Just bring along some extra bags.
Ball-bearing atoms
This is a high-tech right-brain invention that will send
you gliding to the finish. As the legs lose their resilience
near the finish, you can shake off from your hair millions
of atoms that normally act to keep it shiny. As the atoms
drop onto your feet, you'll find that you don't need to
stretch out your stride any more. You glide better through
the air and stay more efficient by staying closer to the
ground. When you're losing this effect, shake your hair
again. Balding people, like myself, will always appreciate
some strategic head shakes from others. A downhill portion
of the course will enhance the effect of these virtually
invisible ball bearings.
Your "inspiration" shoes
If logistics permit, you might consider changing shoes during
the last six miles of the marathon. Both pairs must be broken
in, of course. Save your "inspirational" pair
for the last part. Just putting them on sends a jolt of
invigoration into your feet, up your legs, then through
your body and into the right brain. At that point, all types
of crazy and innovative things can happen.
The extra-special energy bar
For the marathon journey, you're not bringing just any energy
bar. You spent some time the day before picking the ones
with the greatest energy potential and you infused them
with even more energy. Handle the pieces of these bars with
care as you don't want to infuse everyone around you. As
you chew on each piece and drink water, you feel the energy
move from your mouth to your right brain. Then, instantly,
it unlocks other pockets of energy that have been hidden
until now.
Have fun with these dirty tricks. Since your only constraint
is the imaginative power of your right brain, there are
no limits to what you can conjure up and unleash when needed.
From Jeff Galloway's Marathon: You Can
Do It (Shelter Publications, 2002)
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April 2003 
